1958. I am 18 years old, and I am leaving Tunis, the city of my birth, for Paris, to study physics and chemistry at la Sorbonne. My dream is to become a teacher.
1959 to 1961, I am a researcher for the Lanthanide molecule at the laboratory of Professor G- P.
End of 1961 morning, I arrived at the lab, and entered my room, ready to pursue my daily work. I was surprised, and in fact extremely concerned, when I noticed that my file cabinet had been burned down. All my documents, written notes, charts, and molecular images of those unknown molecules were now only a dark gray color, mostly ashes.
A few minutes later, two men addressed me and asked me to follow them to the police station of the 5th arrondissement in Paris. I looked at Professor G- P-who immediately in response to my concern said “ Jacqueline, nothing is wrong, you have to follow them and answer their questions precisely. All will be fine.”
The fear developed when I found myself in a semi-dark room with a bright light hitting my face. The two men were sitting across the table and I answered all their questions. I might have cried. I recall the interrogation lasted a few hours. Then they told me to return to my routine as a science researcher and wished me success in my professional life, present and future.
A few days later the two detectives came back and asked for a gathering of all the researchers. They announced their findings. My supervisor was identified as responsible for the fire in my cabinet: A criminal act as per my own judgement. I do not recall his name. I do recall that he was Jewish.
He acknowledged his culpability, "I did it, do you want to know why? A week ago, I asked Jacqueline..."
The detective interrupted, "Jacqueline, who? You mean Jacqueline Nataf, your student?
"Yes," he responded. "I asked Jacqueline Nataf not to show her Magen David and to hide it under her shirt."
"What is Magen David? Do you mean the Start of David?," the detective responded.
"Yes, the Star of David. I asked Jacqueline to hide her Star of David and she firmly refused. You have to understand I am myself a Jew and by wearing her religious symbol she is putting me in danger. All of us in danger. She was in fact facilitating an act of Antisemitism in my life. And I myself am a Jew!!
I was horrified. I did not know a lot about Antisemitism. I could not imagine that an Antisemitic act could be carried out by a Jew.
Burning reflects a total destruction - Just Ashes
At L’Ecole Albert De Mun - Catholic School in Nogent Sur Marne.
1970. I am teaching physics and chemistry at L’Ecole Albert De Mun which is a Catholic School in Nogent Sur Marne.
One early afternoon when entering the classroom, my 29 students were all sitting at their desks. They seem to be ready to offer me all their attention for their class on modern physics, relativity, and atomic structure.
I walked towards the large blackboard and suddenly remained immobilized. I could not move. I silently read words traced with white chalk and appearing in large letters.
“Hitler avait raison. Les Juifs m?ritent d’ ?tre extermin?s"?"Hitler was right. Jews deserved to be exterminated."
I did not say a word. It took a few minutes before I called one of the students and assigned him a physics question and indicated a space on the blackboard for his written response. The question was extremely difficult and well above his level of knowledge. Evidently, no response.
Then I sent the student back to his seat announcing that his grade was “0”... “Fail.”
I repeated the same strategy for the second, the third, the fourth, the fifth and up to the 29th student. Each time it was more and more intense. I felt more “tense” by asking questions after questions with an authoritarian voice. The impact was accentuated by a loud noise regulated by intervals of times when my heavy ruler was hitting my desk ... boom ... boom ... boom.
Class ended but I told the students to remain seated. I left and came back a few minutes accompanied by the school principal. They silently read the note on the chalkboard.
“Hitler avait raison. Les Juifs méritent d’ être exterminés" "Hitler was right. Jews deserved to be exterminated."
He asked the students to leave the classroom then informed me that this was not their fault. It's the fault of the parents, that is what they are teaching them. Essentially, he was taking no responsibility as the school principal and skirting all the responsibility on the parents.
I took my belongings and left, refusing to come back for my class the next day. I went home profoundly sad and unsatisfied with myself. Furthermore, I was angry; why do I offer my knowledge to people who hate me? That evening the doorbell rang.
My home was in Noisy Le Grand, half hour drive from the school. There, standing at my doorstep was the principal again accompanied by the secular studies director. I invited them to come in of course. They apologized and expressed a feeling of helplessness and disarray. They reiterated their explanation that “this is what their parents teach them.” To which I immediately replied. "Let me suggest then that you hold multi-generational sessions and educate parents and children together. And furthermore, why not also invite grandparents!"
I quickly showed them the way out and locked my door. Looking back, I assume it was a way to protect myself as a Jew, and to separate myself from the world of hate.
I felt horrified by the thoughts of holocaust and all genocides. I still am to this day.
Francesco Hayez: The Destruction of the Temple of Jerusalem. Fine Art Print/Poster.
